Thoughts on the English Language
I couldn't think of anything creative to write about today, so I thought I would pass on this tidbit of information:
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Zen ve vil rul ze vorld.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Zen ve vil rul ze vorld.
posted by SingingCowgirl at
10:51 AM
4 Comments:
Very funny Sue. Where did you find that?
By
Noodles, at 12:35 PM
Funny, what do you mean by funny? This is for real! Euro-English is slowly becoming prevalent throughout Europe...especially Germany. I don't think the Germans were too happy that English was chosen over their sacred fatherland language.
By
SingingCowgirl, at 5:39 PM
I thought you were joking! That's pretty scary. Somehow I don't think that changing the language will make it easier for anybody to learn...it will simply justify those people who've been speaking English with an ultra-thick German accent! What exactly is being accomplished here? Where did you get the article from?
By
Noodles, at 12:35 PM
Hey Sue, I read that article to my sister and I just thought you'd find it interesting to know that she said she got it as a hand out in her German class in '98. I don't know what the EU is up to these days in regards to language reform...but the article is a joke.
By
Joy, at 11:59 PM
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